I Was Not Myself

When they finally sent me home, I refused to do anything. I was in pain. I felt like I could not control anything. I could not control my mind, my body, or my emotions. I especially could not control my emotions. My emotions felt like they were swarming me. I felt like my emotions would come swallow me. It was not me who was creating the emotions, but the emotions were coming and engulfing me. This is because they had removed my amygdala (the amygdala monitors and controls emotions).

One time I got extremely mad that my parents had called me in for dinner. It was something small, dinner, but I was upset! I felt extremely angry. I was so mad, I began screaming and yelling. I would have been swearing if there had not been innocent children in the room. I would lock myself in my room so I would not hurt anyone. It was as if something was consuming me and controlling me.

I also felt like I could not remember anything. I could not remember lots of my life. People would tell me things I had done, things I had accomplished, and experiences I had, but I did not remember any of it and I believe them. This was due to the fact that I did not have a hippocampus which works with long term memory. I remembered basics and general things, but I could not remember the details or experiences of my life.